Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class

Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class

By: Lawrence Otis Graham  

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Average Customer Rating: 3.0 out of 5

Debutante cotillions. Million-dollar homes. Summers in Martha's Vineyard. Membership in the Links, Jack & Jill, Deltas, Boule, and AKAs. An obsession with the right schools, families, social clubs, and skin complexion. This is the world of the black upper class and the focus of the first book written about the black elite by a member of this hard-to-penetrate group.

Author and TV commentator Lawrence Otis Graham, one of the nation's most prominent spokesmen on race and class, spent six years interviewing the wealthiest black families in America. He includes historical photos of a people that made their first millions in the 1870s. Graham tells who's in and who's not in the group today with separate chapters on the elite in New York, Los Angeles, Washington, Chicago, Detroit, Memphis, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Nashville, and New Orleans. A new Introduction explains the controversy that the book elicited from both the black and white communities.

Publisher: Harper Perennial

Release Date: 1999-12-22

Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Thank you Mr. Graham, now I know I'm low class - After I read this book I realized how low class I truly am.
My father is Puerto Rican and my mother is black so despite my best attempts my hair will never ever pass the ruler test since it is way too curly.
I attended an all black private school from pre-K to 8th grade, but since it wasn't mentioned in this book-it doesn't count.
My parents were invited to join Jack & Jill, but after one meeting saw how damned pretentious the people were and declined. Rather than expose me to vaporous children & their parents I attended Freedom Theater and Girl Scouts, as well as the Prime program and AFNA in the summers to help me excel academically. But since we weren't vacationing in Oak Bluffs or Sag Harbor I guess we were poor and low class.
I was accepted to St. Paul preparatory school in Minnesota, but since I would have been a scholarship student from Philadelphia I wouldn't have had a positive experience in an all white boarding school (according to his book). So my mother with her infinite foresight sent me to Central High School (also mentioned in this book ) rather then expose me to the same self hating cancer bug that it seems Graham was exposed to in the same environment.
I was accepted to Howard University, but since I received an academic scholarship to UMES -chose to go there, but I guess my education isn't worth anything since UMES is not a "top black school".
I joined one of the sororities that "truly matters" but didn't do it for prestige, rather I joined because the organization embodied the same ideals I possessed.
Now I don't live in a "big important city", and I don't have a prominent job (although it pays quite well) and my husband is not some prestigious big wig. Unfortunately, we own a 3 bedroom house (no summer home) and can only afford to go on an exotic vacation once a year (and I'm not talking Jamaica).
I guess after all my years of education and exposure to different people and organizations, I woefully missed the mark and am not and will never be "Their Kind of People".

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
"Great" - I believe this was a great book. It was very exciting from the very first chapter.He really did in depth research, on the subject of these so called BGLO (Black Greek Letter Organizations). I do support alot of what he said. I do agree with him on the prejudiceness of the Alpha Phi Alpha and AKA's. I do believe he is a good writer and researcher,it is just that some people cannot handle the truth.

Customer Review: 3 out of 5
Graham Just Wants to Make Money! - I have been a member of the black upper class all of my life. I feel
uncomfortable even saying that. I know that portraying this group as
snobbish, exclusive and haughty sells books. I was glad to read the
reviews from people in Atlanta and New York that told the truth. And
that is that most people in this group are friendly, caring very
confident (not arrogant). I know that they can be very intimadating
but they live the lives of the "haves" and not the "have nots". Their
money and position does make them different but make no mistake they
are very much a part of the black community. And most of them including
myself still belong to and support the NAACP, Urban League, and other
groups, not just social events. So I want to focus on my first point, My
first point is that most of them are welcoming and friendly. (they are always a few that are not) but I am speaking for the majority. My second point is one that has already been stated. It sells books
to make it seem that is almost impossible to get in these organizations.
Which is not true. Although has some have said "anyone" can get in,that is not true either. But it again this sells books! You do need a decent
education (college degree for most of these clubs fraternites and
sororities), personality and someone to sponsor you, in some cases
even more. In my alumni chapter of AIA it is required now to have
3 people to sponsor you and they all have to be from our chapter.
Also he did not tell that these groups are not free, membership is
expensive. Also annual dues is expensive. So beware! but being a
member lets you enjoy fellowship with a lot of good people.
Last point is that Mr. Grahams out look on life greatly disturbs me!
He is wealthy, happily married to a beautiful, successful lady, a
member of the Boule and he comes from a good family. What else does
he want? He says he is in but not all the way in. So what? I am not
sure what he needs or wants to make his social credentials complete.
Of course he could join the National Guardsmen, Comus or the Rainbow
Yacht Club. But he is in the group. So I say to you my brother be content
with what you have. Whether you know it or not you have been extremely
blessed. Why do you need other people to validate you? BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Everyone on here tryin to slam this book needs to sit down somewhere! - All Mr. Graham did was tell about another side of black/american history that existed. Ever since I read this book(not half way but the entire book!), this book has provoked intelligent conversation among my peers and family )Other races have their famous families like the kennedys, etc in which they glorify their accomplishments. Why can't african americans have our famous families? The families that are featured in the book should be praised snotty or not, because they dared to accomplish beyond the low bar that has been set for us by white america.

Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Self-Hating Ignorant Elite Blacks! - I am of one of the so-called elite blacks and I disagree with the book. Don't believe everything you read or believe that all blacks who have money, education, and nice homes are what the author describes. First off, it was instilled in me that if ones of our race is fortunate enough to become someone, lend out a helping hand to the less fortunate of the race. That's what me and my family has done over the past 100 years. We knew we weren't white and didn't want to be and didn't want to act like our oppressors. My family wasn't foolish enough to act like the very people who wouldn't accept us despite our money and skin color because they knew we weren't one of them, no matter if our skin was as light as there's. My family despised and fought against discrimination from whites for many years so its ashame that there are blacks who treat their own people the same way they didn't like to be treated by the whites they so sadly wanted to be accepted by. Blacks should have learned a lesson from the many years of abuse and brutality they suffered because of the color of their skin so why would they inflict the same pain on their own people? Why imitate the same ugly traits? I'm not knocking being successful. Its great if you got up in the world but don't look down on others, especially the working-class blacks. I would never look down on blacks who work, that's an admirable thing, that their out working hard for their families and not be gangbangers and pimps. This book shows that in every race there are snobs, stuck up people who think their better because of their money or position, even in the black race, but its really sad that some elite blacks think because of their money or light skin tone their better then the darker or poorer blacks, they feel their better and should be treated better then the so-called average black, so many separate themselves within the race and discriminate against ones who don't have what they have, they try to be white within the black community, they know they can't be superior to whites, whites won't accept no matter their color or money, so they to be superior within their own race. I was always taught when you think your better then people, there'es always gonna be someone who'll think their better then you or treat you poorly because you don't have what they got. What goes around, comes around in life. Furthermore do the elite blacks accept Oprah Winfrey? She's got more then the so-called elite blacks and whites, even whites bow down to her so the so-called elite blacks ain't got nothing (excuse my slang - its so out of place for me =)) on Oprah. Those elite blacks better be glad Oprah doesn't have her own club or sorority because the so-called elite blacks wouldn't be able to get in because their not rich enough. Hell, even Oprah who's one of the richest in the world couldn't even into a premier country club because she's black, despite her money, she was denied. Anyways, elite blacks should be proud to be of the same race as Oprah. Let's stop imitating our oppresors, trying to look like them, be them, act like them, and be loving and open to everyone and try to do things for the better of our race, we have much to be proud of, and who knows we could become a powerful, more successful race, but divided we won't. I guess the self-hating of blacks is why some act the way they do, many feel because of their money, prominence, class, and color that their on a pedestal above other blacks, many feel they have so-called "white things" so they feel their not as black. Their self-hatred for blacks makes them admire anything white - power, money, skin color, nose, straight hair, whatever. Anyways, you can't get plastic surgery to remove the black blood within you and you can't run away from it, something or someone will always remind you.

If any of these elite blacks believe in God, well then, on judgement day, God ain't gonna ask 'How much money you had?" "What kind of degree did you have?" "How many achievements?" God ain't gonna run a comb through her hair to see if its straight. He's not gonna deny entry to heaven because of not having light skin. God's gonna ask did you treat people right? Did you follow his rules for living? Did we imitate Jesus and help the poor and needy? Sadly most of these elite blacks go to church but don't practice what they preach. They spend most of their time looking at what people wear and what kind of car people drive,

Some blacks who aren't of the elite care their not accepted? No! Why would you want to be around people who judge and like or dislike you by what you got or don't got. I never was accepted by the elite either because I wouldn't go along with their standards and debated with them. I was considered the rebel within those group of people. I want to be around people who like me because I'm a good person and have a good heart. I want to marry a man who want me because I'm a good woman with wonderful qualities of heart, mind, and soul, not because I have the color or hair texture, money, and family he likes. Many of the elite blacks don't accept themselves, many aren't happy within, they have to keep up this facade, their fooling everyone but themselves. No wonder many blacks are afraid of getting an education, attaining money, and going up in the world, they fear it may take away their identity and blackness, they fear they'll start acting white like most of the elite blacks who they look down on. Elite blacks are not giving a good impression, when they should be role models that blacks can be successful and somebody.

I wasn't raised to distance myself from other blacks, I went to public schools, my mother didn't want to distance me from other blacks who didn't have what I have. She wanted me to be around people from all walks of life so I can learn and become a better person. She didn't want me to lose my identity and blackness from being around other blacks who lost there identity. However, my mother was raised like many of the elite blacks, distancing herself, discriminating against other blacks, until she met my father, a man who wasn't in her class but she fell in love with him because he was rich with love, she realized through him how damaged and ruined she was and swore to raise her kids differently. My mother started being shunned by many elite blacks who didn't like who she married. My mother learned her lesson when she was looked down upon for once she felt how other blacks felt who she hurt and throughout her life she tried to right her wrongs by giving back to the community. The elite blacks never know how messed up they are until their on the outside looking in.

As for the author Lawrence Otis Graham and author Donald Bogle, their self-hating brothers. They show their hatred and bitterness in their writing. It doesn't matter when others hate you but when you go along and hate yourself, your a miserable, lost soul. I say the author gots whats coming to him. He thinks he's better then people, well he found there were people, black and white, who thought they were better then him, and now he's bitter and writes this book supposedly outting people for the very things, he's done. All I have to say is if you accept yourself, it doesn't matter if they others don't, there's always people in the world who won't accept you, as long as you got people who do, stop trying to attain acceptance from everyone, especially for shallow things. Most of the elite blacks are chasing a dream, not satisfied with what they have, they got money, a light skin tone, straight hair, prominence, security, now they want whiteness, which they'll never get. We need to erase this stigma of thinking money, power, prominence are white things, anyone can have them if they work hard. Because one has money and prominence doesn't make them less black. Another thing, most of the self-hating elite blacks who look down upon darker blacks have to remember there's a dark skin person in the family tree who they inherited their black blood and genes from so if you hate other darker blacks, you hate yourself and your whole family tree. I don't love the white blood in me, because it was attained from rape, it wasn't attained out of love, so I wouldn't be so proud. I would be shame of having the blood of a man who raped and humiliated my family and I won't fall for brainwashing that white is better. All blacks should be proud of who they are, where they come from, if they don't know, learn, black history is the most written about history then any other, even whites write about it because its so fascinating. There's black achievement in every genre, everywhere in the world, we have nothing to be ashame of. If anything many people copy and want to be us, and its proof of that. When you accept yourself, no one can hurt you, despite their non-acceptance of you.

If these elite blacks who think their so great so prominent, how come most blacks haven't heard of them, they won't expose themselves to the world because they'll be ridiculed for the ignorance, their just big fish in small pond, if they went out in the real world they would get ate out by bigger fish. I hope some elite blacks write and tell their story and not just go by whats in this book, though some things are true, some things are better told from the horses mouth. My mom was thinking of writing a book from her experiences. I might push her too!

I don't like the word "elite" my family worked hard to get what they got and that's what I and my kids will continue to do but money and class isn't everything because you can't take it with you when you die, someone else will enjoy it. I rather be remembered for my goodness then for money and class!

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