Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life

Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life

By: Eugene O'Kelly  

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Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5

THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Chasing Daylight is the honest, touching, and ultimately inspirational memoir of former KPMG CEO Eugene O'Kelley, completed in the three-and-a-half months between his diagnosis with brain cancer and his death in September 2005. Its haunting yet extraordinarily hopeful voice reminds us to embrace the fragile, fleeting moments of our lives-the brief time we have with our family, our friends, and even ourselves. This paperback edition features a new foreword by his wife, Corinne O'Kelley and a readers' group guide and questions.

“Voicing universal truths . . . shared . . . simply and clearly.”-Janet Malin, New York Times

“Words to live by.”-Kerry Hannon, USA Today

“One of the most unexpected and touching books you're likely to read this year.”-Edward Nawotka, Bloomberg News

“An honest, thought-provoking memoir . . . O'Kelly has many lessons to teach us on how to live.”-Steve Powers, Houston Chronicle

“[A] well-written and moving book.”-TheEconomist.com

Publisher: McGraw-Hill

Customer Review: 3 out of 5
In Chasing Daylight, a terminally ill man offers a unique perspective on living. - This unique book offers unusual perspective on living through the eyes of a terminally ill man. Gene O'Kelly systematic way of thinking and emotion competence aid him as he plans out how to make the most of his time on earth. O'Kelly's extreme professional success (CEO of KPMG at the onset of his illness) give him an opportunity to have a widely heard voice.
O'Kelly's system of tiering people by the importance of their relationships and then allocating time and energy accordingly is interesting, thoughtful, even if it may come across as mechanical at times. Who's to say how one should live their last 3 months of life?
Unfortunately, I was hoping for more of spiritual depth and perspective. O'Kelly mentions cultural Christianity and something like Buddhism/transcendental meditation, but doesn't suggest much concrete guidance on how his last days might have sharpened his focus or his relationship with God. I found the numerous references to "centering myself" "right myself" and "finding balance" to be distracting and they left me wishing for more from and for him.
I thought the following were real nuggets in the book:
1. Make time "slow down" by really savoring the good things in life, really considering what messages you want to send to people important to you to be thought provoking and inspiring.
2. We should all take time, regularly, to consider our impending deaths (we'll rarely know whether they are far off or just around the corner) and see if we like where we spend our time, energy, and emotion or whether we need to make changes.
3. Don't be too distracted by work. Coming from a man of such great accomplishment professionally, it seems that he could have used more family balance in his life and had some regrets.
4. "You can't control everything." Again hearing this from such an accomplished and driven man, the admission is striking - though obviously true. He describes both his journey to acceptance of his plight and the importance that this acceptance had in allowing him to enjoy and make the most of his final days and months.
5. While time spent is a measure of one's commitment level, the amount of energy and focus spent on the topic or person is even more of a gauge.
6. Have an "Italian mindset" - look at past decisions as truly in the past and focus on the future. "The only decision to focus on is the one you are still able to make." This seems to have wisdom as long as it doesn't preclude learning from our mistakes.
7. His plan to "beautifully resolve" his personal relationships - to bring pleasure to them and himself, to cause himself to think deeply about those close to him.
a. Key moments shared together
b. How they met.
c. What had caused them to become friends
d. Qualities O'Kelly appreciated in them
e. Things he'd learned from each
f. How they'd helped him become a better person.
g. Often the meeting would take place in a special place and/or include a symbolic gift.
h. How much he appreciated close friends telling him "goodbye" at their last meeting as opposed to other things, like "keep the faith".
8. His reflection on how he'd spent too much time at work - to the expense of his family and, he states - possibly to expense of his own productivity and creativity.
9. O'Kelly suggests an intentional focus on things (I'll call them blessings) we've been given - really pausing to take in the beauty of nature, really appreciating the taste of food and drink, really enjoying time with people. I liked this admonition the best in this book. I've noticed I can "get through" almost any experience, even ones I generally like, in a distracted, detached way. I can also focus on and really enjoy them. It is a matter of focus.
10. Norman Vincent Peale quote, "Change your thoughts and change your world."
11. And, from Wife Corinne, who writes the final chapter:
a. How Gene coming to terms with his own death was so key to how he approached dying: "To die in peace, you must first accept that you are dying."
b. "when you are motivated by fear, you are not able to see the best path - whether in death or in life."
In summary, I'm glad I read "Chasing Daylight" because of the helpful perspective the author offers regarding dying, since I too will die someday. More importantly, I hope to live in a way where I avoid some of his regrets and be more intentional about appreciating and enjoying my own blessings.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
How to have a good death - The CEO of a Fortune 500 company learns he has inoperable brain cancer and sets out to make the very best use of his remaining weeks. With the same energy and vigor he ran his company, he now learns how to let go and value the moments which remain to him.
Well written. Inspiring. Not saccharine sweet.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
A unique Life-Management-Book! - This book is an outstanding and extraordinary treasure. There are some books available about life and dying. Eugene O'Kelly's and Corinne O'Kelly's book is a unique contribution.

Some critics are focusing on the judgement of Eugene O'Kelly's way to proceed after he got his brain cancer diagnose. This is the wrong way. The right way is to judge oneself about the way to live and prepare for death. I found the book in the list of the 100 Best Business Books of all Time. A very important recommendation which everybody should follow, whether in business, whether struggling for a better life, and a better preparation for the time which comes for all of us. To Corinne O'Kelly and Eugene O'Kelly: many thanks and my deepest respect.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Preparing the way for us all.... - A friend, who has had to face her own mortality much, much too early, gave me this amazing book. I am the kind of person who likes to have a plan or two ("just in case"!) to handle potential issues in my life. Then I improvise! Like the author, I enjoy the challenge of imbuing each step of existence with consciousness and a few belly laughs .

Mr. O'Kelly's memoir, of the final three months of his life, is a roadmap of his own challenging walk through unchartered territory. His way of dealing with impending death, by personally speaking with most of the people who had made his life full, was especially inspiring. This is the kind of book we read, ponder and put onto that special shelf for when we inevitably need it again.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Makes You Wonder - I appreciate the fact that this book was written. The author showed extraordinary courage and clear thinking while under the cloud of knowing he was dying. Yet thousands of people live with this knowledge everyday and we do not hear from them. I am left wondering how a book of this nature written by someone without the resources of this author would read. Most of us can't identify with the wealth and comforts Mr. O'Kelly had at his disposal to smooth his path. This is not a criticism, just makes one wonder.

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