Surviving an Affair

Surviving an Affair

By: Willard F.Jr. Harley   Jennifer Harley Chalmers  

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Average Customer Rating: 4.0 out of 5

Publisher: Revell

Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Ludicrous! - This book disgusted me. Not only did it justify the cheating spouse's behavior but it placed the majority of the blame for the affair and responsibility for repairing the marriage on the betrayed spouse! I purchased this book at a Christian bookstore, therefore was very dissappointed in the approach taken. The approach taken in this book discourages guilt on the part of the infidel and encourages tolerance on the part of the betrayed spouse. The "prescription" for recovery outlined in this books requires the betrayed spouse to show no anger and walk on eggshells in an effort to prevent upsetting the cheating spouse and forcing him or her back into the affair. It makes me feel like this book was an effort to justify the author's own actions and has only added to the depression and dissappointment I am already experiencing due to my husband's infidelity. Thank God, my husband is repentant and not as callous as the infidels given as examples in this book or we wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of restoring our marriage.

Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Go directly to "Plan B" - As a former betrayed spouse, this book was responsible for protracting extreme pain and agony. I watched my spouse cheat and cheat, and I pretended to "understand." I didn't lovebust. Until finally, I kicked him out of the house and severed all communications. He came back, only to do it again - same woman. Once again, I tossed him out, only this time, I moved on with my own life. He finally came back for good. But I can tell you, I could have saved a lot of time and heartache if I would have just kicked him out when I first found out. No one, but *NO ONE* should have to live under the same roof as a cheater. No one wants a doormat! No one wants someone they disrespect. If you were cheating on someone and they were all nicey-nicey and let you stick around, wouldn't you think they were an incredible simp? Of course you would! Would you ever really respect them? Heck, no!

OTOH, the advice to the cheaters is excellent, particularly the method in which the affair is to be terminated. The goodbye letter should be a template for every person getting out of an affair, as well as the subsequent behavior (no contact with the ex-lover, moving if necessary, taking a new job if the ex-lover is in the workplace). Harley's advice on that count was absolutely flawless. If you can get it used or at the library, this book is worth it, to see how a cheater *should* make it up to his spouse.

Customer Review: 4 out of 5
Good Book - This is a good book with alot of valid points. I bought it in an attempt to save my marriage after my husband left and had an affair. Unfortunately, I tried plan A, then went to plan B. Because I used Dr Harvey's plans, it pushed my husband to file divorce papers. It doesn't say in the book what to do if that happens. I'm back to square one now trying to figure out what to do to rescue my marriage from divorce and put my family back together. Dr Harvey's book is great for those who are just dealing with a partner who had an affair and hasn't left home. I am now looking for other ways of trying to save my marriage.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Marriage saver - I read this book within a day of the time I learned of my husbands affair. We are on a steady road of recovery and rebuilding our marriage. This book was our saving grace. Had I not read this book I would have thrown my husband out without hesitation. This book helped me to see the possibilty of marital recovery. I highly reccomend this book to anyone suffering through the agony of an affair.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Must reading for anyone involved in an affair - The author gives a very clear understanding of the emotional needs (not feelings) being sought after by those involved in an affair. The reading is concise and easy. An excellent book for counseling people who want to rebuild a marriage, despite an affair. An excellent resource for Christian counselors.

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