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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

By: Ph.D. Harville Hendrix Ph.D.  

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Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Description:

REVISED AND WITH A NEW FOREWORD

ARE YOU GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT?

Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating allnegativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., has more than thirty years of experience as an educator, public lecturer, and therapist. His work has been translated into more than fifty languages and Imago Therapy is practiced in thirty countries. Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy—a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents—which is practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. They have six children and live in New Jersey and New Mexico.
 
 

Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating allnegativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.

Getting the Love You Want is also available on CD as an unabridged audiobook.  Please email academic@macmillan.com for more information.

"Hendrix provides much insight into how spouses can mature through one another."—Booklist

"Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together."—T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health

"I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship."—M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled
 
"Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book—the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships."—Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund

"Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship."—Marion Solomon, Ph.D.

"This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!"—James A. Hall, M.D.



Description:
When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."

As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship."

Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Release Date: 2007-12-26

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
A must read for everyone! - ...is about how-to heal and resolve childhood issues/wounds with our partner (rather than bringing them into our relationships) by using Dr. Harville's thesis that we choose partners who have similar attributes and qualities as our parents. A must read for everyone!


Customer Review: 5 out of 5
I should have read the fine print - I should have read the fine print of the Title of the book. The book was in fine condition but I didn't realize it was a book for COUPLES... Oh, ICKY YUCK !!!! I thought it was a book for ALL people in general.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
20 Years Later - Two decades ago, while I was enduring the aftermath of a divorce, an acquaintance "tricked" me into reading this book. (That's an interesting story, but for another time.)

I had heard it said that unless we understand why we married our first spouse, we were almost certainly doomed to remarry the "same person". That I did NOT want to do. So, in order to avoid that dreadful prospect, I began reading this book.

At first I was appalled at Hendrix's explanation of why I had chosen my first wife. In fact, I was so offended (and frightened) by what he said, that I almost threw away the book. However, I was just desperate enough to keep reading. And, I am certainly thankful I did. By the end of the book, I was convinced Hendrix was absolutely right in his explanation of love (as a mental process) and why we choose whom we choose.

Twenty years later, I can testify that I am still indebted to this book. It has helped me avoid a number of HORRIBLE mistakes that I was initially inclined to make.

I would also advise anyone who will listen to read this book. Read it as if you're a single person, even if you're married. Read it if you want to understand why you make the decisions you make. Read it if you want to avoid multiple failures in relationships and all sorts of life-changing decisions.

As Solomon wrote: "The mind of the wise seeks knowledge. But the mouth of the fool feeds on folly." (Proverbs 15.14) This book might just be the first meal of wisdom you need.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Excellent! - If you have any questions or difficulties at all with a relationship, I highly recommend "Getting the Love You Want". The insight it gave me into how relationships come to be & how they begin to seperate over time is invaluable - priceless! I would even recommend this book to people who aren't in a relationship so that they can possible understand what it takes to keep one working.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
A must have guide for every couple who wants to strengthen their relationship - Dr. Hendrix has set the gold standard for relationship books. I am thrilled to see this wonderful 20th Anniversary Edition. (Find another relationship book that has stood this test of time.)

And his Imago Therapy (which he co-developed) is the gold standard for couples therapy, especially when one partner is not especially empathic by nature.

It is the only couples therapy widely recognized as helpful for couples affected by Adult ADHD. Google "Imago Relationships Therapy" to learn more and perhaps find a trained clinician in your area.

Gina Pera, author
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?

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