Slut: Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation
By:
Leora Tanenbaum
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Lowest New Price: $4.11
List Price: $23.95
Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Description:
The January 1997 issue of Seventeen magazine ran a confessional article by Leora Tanenbaum about the experiences of being called a "slut" in high school. The response was tremendous -- letters poured in. In this book, Tanenbaum has expanded on her own experiences and included firsthand accounts from women ages 14 through 66 about how being labeled a "slut" can affect every aspect of one's personality. Many women at the highest level of achievement tell how their experiences growing up with a bad reputation not only hampered, but also freed them.
Description:
The statistics are daunting: "Two out of five girls nationwide have had sexual rumors spread about them," reports Leora Tanenbaum. "Three out of four girls have received sexual comments or looks, and one in five has had sexual messages written about her in public areas." The 50 women interviewed for this book differ greatly in ethnic background, age, and economic status, but they share one thing in common--each of them, along with Tanenbaum herself, was labeled a "slut" in junior high or high school. (And, as recent cases involving Anita Hill and Monica Lewinsky demonstrate, a woman can face such taunts no matter what her age or professional level.) As such, they became victims of a double standard that winks at sexual promiscuity among teenage boys but insists that young women remain virginal and pure. Even worse, the slut bashing is perpetuated in nearly every case by female classmates. In addition to insisting that schools get serious about combating sexual harassment, Tanenbaum urges the development of sex education programs that acknowledge responsible alternatives to abstinence, programs that would recognize the sexual desires of young women (and men) without condemnation. Her social critique is solid, but it's the personal accounts of emotional abuse--and, thankfully, perseverance--that will thoroughly convince you that the current tolerance of slut bashing is simply unacceptable. --Ron Hogan
Publisher: Seven Stories Press
Customer Review: 4 out of 5
Appreciate anything on the topic - This topic is so important and I appreciate anything out there written on it.
I know how hard it was to be a young woman at 10 years old developing before my peers and having other girls hate me for it. I can't imagine how difficult it would be for a young girl in that position today with cyber smearing added to the other ways that kids torture each other.
An interesting read and important subject.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Not really about nooky, surprisingly! - Abstracting, one sees that this is a socially objective look at human REPUTATION. To put it in terms of physics, this is a Isaac Newton look at the world. We learn and absolutely believe that F=MA. Yet, when applying Newton's theory to massively large, fast-moving celestial objects such as the planet Mercury or applying to miniscule, light-speed particles , we find that F=MA doesn't hold. And that two other paradigms and sets of physical equations must me used to explain these two worlds beyond our own: the physically massive (ideas attributed to Einstein alone) and the physically miniscule (Plank, Einstein, Bohr, et. al.).
Nevertheless, in our world, in the world of the heavens (large fast planets and similar celestial objects), and in the world of the electrons protons, the ideas of MASS, ENERGY, SPACE, AND TIME do apply.
Similarly, Tanenbaum's idea of REPUTATION like Netown's ideas of physics (MASS, ENERGY, SPACE, AND TIME), once mastered, can apply where the original laws break down. Tanenbaum's idea of REPUTATION can be taken from the highschool world of female "slut-bashing" to the adult world of commerce. Apply it to work collegues (males and females) on the one hand. And to adult community members (males and females) on the other.
Peace out.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Read it for a college class. - I had to read this for a class I took last summer. It wasn't something I would have chosen on my own, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was rather good.
I never really thought about the impact calling a young girl a "slut" would cause. It has made me think twice about saying or even thinking about a woman/girl like that.
I think this should be read by every high schooler. It shows how words can cause harm to a young person.
Customer Review: 1 out of 5
loose, and poorly narrated. - Might be interesting for a reader that is not in tune with what goes on at public schools.
Customer Review: 3 out of 5
Worth the read but not fully honest or emcompassing - Slut. What does it really mean? The term has multiple uses for multiple purposes. The author fails to acknowledge this. On Oprah she revealed herself to be a woman (now middle aged) who had to deal with "long lasting" negative psychological effects of being called a "slut."
The author shows what many guys already know: that mostly women label other women this way. It is because of sexual competition among young women (and older) as well as over jealousy and maintaining social cliques and keeping others out. The movie Mean Girls did a wonderful job of brining to the screen many of these female dynamics.
The author primarily focuses on the denigrating effects of the term and never focuses on the underlying reasons of what it is said. It seems that the author is trying to provoke sympathy for her particular experience and perhaps in the process will make others question the use of the term slut.
But this is a flawed assumption, as the girls using it against other girls will never care about the hurt feelings of another girl. After all, the accuser has calculated to cause just that kind of emotional harm. Rather, if the author had really delved into the dynamics of why this term is used, it would better arm our young daughters to see through the insecurities and fears of others and dissect the accuser. It would make a young woman more emotional inviolable to such social stigmatization.
For men, a slut has more nuanced meaning. A slut can be the "party girl" for a one-night stand, or even someone that a man really respects and loves but wants to have as his ultimate sexual plaything. For this latter case, the author does not acknowledge how a good deal of many women like having the term used on them in the bedroom and how is sexually arouses them.
A slut can also be a misleading promiscuous woman whose not been faithful. This term is meant to create a stigma. For a man that is committed to a woman, learning that she has cheated or slept around on him evokes primal anger. This Madonna-whore dichotomy is one that is rooted in underlying biology, After all, unlike a woman, a man cannot impose bastards on a woman. Moreover, the term then is not meant to characterize women per se now necessarily promiscuous women; rather it is meant to stigmatize cheating, lying, sexually promiscuous women. That is what a real slut is.
Next comes the promiscuous girl who everyone knows is just about sex. She is the kind that jumps around, screws around, and most likely can be a post-girl in a Valtrex commercial. She is classless and disgusting, attracting only extremely horny or desperate men that just want a quick lay with no emotional entanglements. No man wants her for a girlfriend, a wife, or a mother. She is: a slut. Pure and simple. And nothing will change that. The definition fits because it is fitting. It will endure because of the enduring perennial nature of humanity and sexual politics.
Furthermore, lot of women try to evoke the Madonna-whore/double standard accusation against men. It is a wonderful scapegoat and smoke screen for women who are often sexually ostracized and ignored. These kinds of women are the ones who universally are the quickest to throw the term out against other women-not men.
The author does not truly admit this.
Lastly, Oprah had this author on her show once during an airing back in late 1999. It featured the Brotherhood/Sisterhood club camp. It was billed to unify young adults. In an astounding act of cruelty and stupidity organizers had made complicit the girls in the emotional gang raping of the young boys by subjecting them to several hours of sexual harassment and verbal abuse. The reason? As one idiot blind follower of a girl put it: "To teach guys a lesson" and supposed educate guys of what women go through every day.
It makes you wonder if any of the guys thought that if they were going to be taught a "lesson" if they wanted to return the favor. Apparently some did. Some of the girls apparently were later victimized sexually in acts of retribution. I guess some of the young men figured if they were going to be punished for sexual harassment and abuse, they might as well have the pleasure of actually doing it. Yes, they learned their "lesson" well-and so did the girls.
Nothing changes.
At 16 though, if I were at that camp and told to do such a thing, I would not only tell the person where to go but be more than helpful to show them the direction. Thankfully I am a father and adult of more control today. Our sons and daughters have a lot of things to face and contend with often an extremity of issues we did not have to worry during our upbringing. Sadly, many so-called "educators" or like in the case of the Brotherhood/Sisterhood club, social organizers often use kids against one another under the guise of equality. Parents need to be on guard and vocal against such morons and be ready to call them out and fight them.
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