Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

By: John Gottman   Joan Declaire  

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Average Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5

Intelligence That Comes from the Heart

Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step "emotion coaching" process that teaches how to:

* Be aware of a child's emotions
* Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
* Listen empathetically and validate a child's feelings
* Label emotions in words a child can understand
* Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation

Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.

Description:
In Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, psychology professor John Gottman explores the emotional relationship between parents and children. It's not enough to simply reject an authoritarian model of parenting, Gottman says. A parent needs to be concerned with the quality of emotional interactions. Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, and coauthor Joan Declaire focus first on the parent (a "know thyself" approach), and provide a series of exercises to assess parenting styles and emotional self-awareness. The authors identify a five-step "emotion coaching" process to help teach children how to recognize and address their feelings, which includes becoming aware of the child's emotions; recognizing that dealing with these emotions is an opportunity for intimacy; listening empathetically; helping the child label emotions; setting limits; and problem-solving. Chapters on divorce, fathering, and age-based differences in emotional development help make Gottman's teachings detailed and useful. --Ericka Lutz

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
The Go-To Mom Gives "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" 5 Gold Stars - John Gottman produces the most insightful and inspiring books I have ever read. All his work is well worth the investment. Every parent should own a copy of this book and refer to it on a regular basis. There would be less violence, suicide, depression and school drop out if children where raised by parents who had more empathy and understanding of the important role that emotions play in early childhood. Buy this book and hold it close, it may change your life. Other books that you may find helpful are: Kids-Parents and Power Struggles, How To Talk So Kids Can Listen, Got the Baby Where's the Manual, Between Parent and Child,and Undconditional Parenting.


Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
Licensed Child Therapist
Author, Mommy Confidence
founder, www.TheGoToMom.TV

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
What a gift of a book to parents and to children fortunate enough to have those parents. I've found a terrifically insightful - memoir written by a brilliant woman trained in child psychiatry, whose path was influenced by a need to heal the damages of her own childhood. That's How the Light Gets In: Memoir of a Psychiatrist by Susan Rako, M.D. owes its title to a song by Leonard Cohen: "There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." Rako's book is remarkably candid, fascinating, and wonderfully well-written. It's a great read. The writing just flows.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Great - Great book. A must read for every parent. One of the best parenting books out there.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Expert Gottman - This book was a purchase as a gift to my daughter who brought our first grandchild into the world not long ago. I know about John Gottman and his reputation as an excellent researcher on emotions and how they play out in body language and other ways people communicate with one another. I am also very familiar with the research on Emotional Intelligence developed by Perter Salovey at Yale and popularized by Daniel Goleman. This book integrates all of those sources of profoundly important social science into an amalgam that will surely help parents guide their children toward becoming well balanced and confident. This is not a bunch of pop psychology. It is impotant information from a man who knows whereof he speaks.

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
A Book for Every Parent - John Gottman is a professor of psychology at the University of Washington, a Rabbi, author of the excellent book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," and also an entertaining speaker. My wife and I attended one of his talks on successful marriages. He's the Jerry Seinfeld of the clinical psychologist-Rabbi set.

Against that backdrop, it wasn't difficult for my wife to get me to read "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" after we had our second kid, although I wondered what misdeed on my part prompted the purchase.

As with Seven Principles, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a tad heavy on discussions of research methodology, obviously intended to enhance the credibility of Gottman's conclusions. And some of Gottman's advice is a bit much for any but the most obsessive-compulsive. As an example, I don't think I'll be keeping an "emotion log" anytime soon in order to better understand my feelings "from moment to moment."

Such quirks aside, I recommend this book to every parent. It's short and easy to read, and most readers probably come away wishing their parents had read it. Gottman provides compelling insights and guidance for parents on how to help children identify, understand and work with all kinds of emotions ("emotion coaching"). Concepts are supported by examples of good and bad parental attitudes and/or parent-child interactions. These real-life examples colorfully reinforce Gottman's basic theories and demonstrate the advice in action.

Half way through the book, I found myself already trying to apply its principles in dealing with emotional outbreaks from our young children. They responded well. Gottman presents compelling evidence that parents can play an important role in the emotional well-being and happiness of their children and he argues persuasively that parents who succeed in doing so likely form stronger bonds with their children. That's a lot more value than one usually expects from a $13, 200-page paperback.

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