The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
By:
Les Carter
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Lowest New Price: $8.90
List Price: $15.95
Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Description:
It's easy to identify rage in people who lose their temper at traffic jams, unruly children, unresponsive coworkers, and unrealistic bosses. But we may not recognize more subtle manifestations of anger, such as being uncomfortable with loose ends, acting impatiently, or being overly critical. That is anger, too. And, as is so often the case, angry folks don't seem to realize that the behavior causing them problems at home or at work actually stems from unrecognized and unresolved pain and emotional injuries from the past. Is all this negative emotion inevitable, or are there choices about how to respond, choices that can improve personal relationships as well as emotional health? The Anger Trap is a landmark book that strips away the myths and misconceptions about anger and reveals how you can learn to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy anger so that you may choose-- or help someone else to choose-- a better, more spiritually enlightened path. The Anger Trap examines the root causes of anger and can help you realize your patterns and break the destructive cycles of criticism, frustration, and irritation that hurt you and others around you. Drawing insight from timeless spiritual wisdom as well as cutting-edge research, Dr. Carter offers practical techniques to free you from anger, its hidden insecurities, fears, and selfishness and thereby improve the quality of your home and workplace life. The book clearly illustrates how the change process works and The Anger Trap is filled with real-life examples of the ways people have come to terms with their anger by applying the concepts Dr. Carter outlines.
Publisher: Jossey-Bass
Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Not a Tool for Self Help - There are some VERY positive reviews for this book on this site so I purchased it. But after having read it myself I now regard these reviews as suspect, especially the first glowing one, which smells of a shill.
Let me tell you why: The book is pretty much a collection of mundane stories about "real" clients of the author with insight into their troubled childhoods, past fears, etc. and how those past traumas have left them with anger issues. It is classic blame-it-on-your-unfortunate-past psycho-babble with very little advice on how to deal with anger in the here and now, regardless of what the causes may be.
If you suffer from anger issues and really want to deal with them, the last thing you want to do is waste time reading cliche' stories of other individuals' bad relationships with their parents or spouses. Instead, I recommend an approach like that of Anger Busting 101 by Newton Hightower because it provides immediate steps to take to begin resolving the problem, without all the needless delving into the "root" of anger. And no, I am not a shill for Hightower, just a consumer trying to prevent others from making the same mistake I did.
Customer Review: 4 out of 5
angry and not able to control it? - This has great practical and Biblical ways to overcome the anger in a person that will stop them from being successful. It is a great tool to be used if you are serious about becoming all that God designed.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Reads like my life - As I read this I kept thinking "yes, that's exactly it!".
If you suffer from chronic anger or know someone who does, this is definitely worth reading. I bought it because my spouse suffers from chronic anger, and it really enlightened me as to the causes of my spouse's constant anger and frustration.
I wish the author would write a book specifically from the point of view of those who suffer from living with angry spouses and parents, with tips on how to help the angry person realize their issues and find peace. This is particularly important for angry parents, as their angry outlook is often taken out on their kids, who have no skills to figure out why this it's happening and end up with their own personality disorders.
An important topic and a very clear and easy-to-read book.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Awesome book - I think this book is great. I'm almost finished with it. He really looks at why we get angry, where it comes from, and then gives a bunch of options for dealing with it. It's really practical and insightful.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Really works! - Before I read this book, I was blowing up at my kids at least once a day. Just a few weeks later, that no longer happens. I'm able to monitor when I'm getting frustrated and keep in control so I don't start yelling out of the blue.
This book really made me feel understood by the author. I recognized myself and the people I know in the descriptions of angry people. The biggest thing for me was that he understood how profoundly being yelled at as a child can affect you. He explains that people get angry because their needs aren't being met. So now, I check in with myself regularly to see whether I'm hungry, or tired, or frustrated, and then I try to take steps to meet those needs before I blow up.
The main flaw in the book is that it doesn't provide enough detail about how to be assertive. I would have liked to see specific examples and guidelines for how to talk to other people about your needs in an effective, assertive way rather than being aggressive or too passive.
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