Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type
By:
Helen Fisher
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List Price: $25.00
Average Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Description:
A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality typesExplorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiatorand each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type. Until now the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!) Ultimately, Fisher’s investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage. Based on entirely new researchincluding a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countriesWhy Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature’s chemistry to find and keep your life partner.
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
Release Date: 2009-01-20
Customer Review: 4 out of 5
Review from a Professional Matchmaker - While I enjoyed reading "Why Him? Why Her?", I admit I had to put it down quite a bit as it can get dense, tedious and repetitive at times. I agree with the reviewers who state that the concepts in the book are very straightforward and could potentially have been communicated in a much briefer way.
Nevertheless, I found it to be a VERY interesting read about why we are the way we are and why we are attracted to certain people ... and not to others.
While I am not a scientist or an anthropologist, my profession as a matchmaker puts me in a unique position to see what Helen Fisher discusses at play on a daily basis. I definitely see the scientific observations/research bear out in, for example, the attraction and compatibility Explorer-types have with other Explorers (a common personality type in NYC). No doubt a whole host of factors contribute to why people have "chemistry" (e.g. similar educational/socio-economic backgrounds, similar religious views, family influence and upbringing, attraction to another's basic appearance and so on) but understanding the basic science behind how our brains work and how certain hormones/neurotransmitters affect people's primary (and secondary) personality types is fascinating. This book is a worthwhile read for anyone with limited knowledge on the subject as much of the research will be novel and thought-provoking.
Although "Why Him? Why Her?" is not a "self-help" book, again, it can be very useful to readers in helping them understand their own personality type and the type of personality they should ideally look for in a partner. Of course, I would not recommend using the questionnaire presented at the beginning of the book on every prospective love interest and then ruling out people who turn out not to be one's "ideal" personality match. Quite the opposite, my advice is always that people should be open-minded when it comes to giving others an opportunity - love is not an exact science and no researcher has gotten it down to one yet!
Overall, I enjoyed "Why Him? Why Her?" and would certainly recommend it.
Marni Galison, President and Founder
Sunday at Noon Matchmaking and Events
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Great Book - Overall a very well written book. Very enjoyable and informative. Fun for women to read.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Very interesting and enjoyable - I enjoyed reading this book immensely and gave the personality test to all my family members as well, which revealed me as a BUILDER - Director (or Dictator as I prefer). It was interesting how the author shows the neural activity associated with personality traits. Reading the detail on the four personality types made me jog through my memory of past boyfriends and think about which type they were, and I also think about which type other people are after meeting them. This is a great read.
Customer Review: 3 out of 5
beware infomercial embedded - Fisher is an ok writer by way of this book, however it is half again too long and twice again too repetitious. It is offensive with the excessive mentioning of [...] (wrong name on purpose)"company, organization, tout site."
There is value in the work. The literal and historical references are valuable, informative and educational it is the other parts that make you ponder if this book was written for professionals or for those who sadly can make their own physical connections. Maybe they are one and the same, who knows who cares.
So the book is worth half the price and would have been better as an article in Vanity Fair or Cosmo but not 290 pages with extensive notes and bibliography that only destroyed more of the rain forest.
Customer Review: 2 out of 5
Really, that's how to find love? - This book is more about understanding different personalities rather than finding love by understanding your own personality. The author proposes in her book that there are four main personality types. They are director, explorer, negogiator and builder. She uses different types of hormones as a buttress to her propositions. For instance, "Directors", she writes, have high levels of testosterone. Therefore, you have a personality that always take charge of any task. In order words, you love to lead. So in order for you to find true love, your partner must also be a director with high levels of testosterone. Her literature citations may be authentic, but love cannot in anyway be defined by evolutionary process or scientific research. You can easily know if a person is any of the four types of personalities by mere observation without any hormonal analysis. Albeit the book is provocative, but making propositions based on hormonal levels alone is not credible to substantiate her argument. It is always fascinating and enlightening to perceive the world through the eyes of others and so I would encourage you to read it and come to your own conclusions.
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