Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type
By:
Helen Fisher
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List Price: $25.00
Average Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Description:
A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world’s leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type. Until now the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!) Ultimately, Fisher’s investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage. Based on entirely new research—including a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countries—Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature’s chemistry to find and keep your life partner.
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.
Release Date: 2009-01-20
Customer Review: 2 out of 5
Really, that's how to find love? - This book is more about understanding different personalities rather than finding love by understanding your own personality. The author proposes in her book that there are four main personality types. They are director, explorer, negogiator and builder. She uses different types of hormones as a buttress to her propositions. For instance, "Directors", she writes, have high levels of testosterone. Therefore, you have a personality that always take charge of any task. In order words, you love to lead. So in order for you to find true love, your partner must also be a director with high levels of testosterone. Her literature citations may be authentic, but love cannot in anyway be defined by evolutionary process or scientific research. You can easily know if a person is any of the four types of personalities by mere observation without any hormonal analysis. Albeit the book is provocative, but making propositions based on hormonal levels alone is not credible to substantiate her argument. It is always fascinating and enlightening to perceive the world through the eyes of others and so I would encourage you to read it and come to your own conclusions.
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
Intelligent, fun, & worth it - I really liked and enjoyed that book. I've read a couple of dating and personality books in the past and I've never been much of a fan, but her book I must admit was not painfully annoying and depressing like so many of them. It combined personal stories, biological facts, and research. Ever wondered why you're so attracted to someone? Ever wondered why you meet a very nice guy, but you just can't "see him that way"? or ever wondered why you love someone yet can't stand them at the same time? Well, that book will give you some insights into your personality type, your partner's (or potential partner's) and what kind of match you make. You'll also learn facts about your own personality type, it might be things you already knew, didn't know, have been told,or questioned. I must say it did pinpoint several things about my personality very well. Even if you don't care much for her theories, it still is a very fun read. BTW I'm a NEGOTIATOR/builder :)
Customer Review: 5 out of 5
good book - Great book. It arrived on time although the seller didn't say there was writing in it.
Customer Review: 2 out of 5
Too much pop, not enough psychology. - I thought this would be interesting as a way of seeing how my fiance and I match up and maybe as a conversation starter as we get ready to mix finances, set up a home, plan a wedding, etc. It was not my cup of tea. The four categories used vastly overgeneralize to the point that they are not useful in any practical way. My fiance and I actually relate better through our horoscopes. When I'm being non-committal, it's a lot easier for her to say "stop being such a Gemini" than for her to say, "Stop being such a negotiator." Frankly, the horoscopes are more accurate. Do not think that means I think horoscopes are accurate.
This might be useful for some folks who've never had a framework to conceptualize their personality, but only in that case. I would still try to start from a better place. There are far better ways to get an understanding of your personality. First, go take a full Myers-Briggs and use the free commentary that always comes with the tests. In fact, if you want to save money, there are a number of places online to take a smaller Myers-Briggs survey for free, that still have good commentary. Just avoid the pay sites and look for ones run by universities.
Customer Review: 3 out of 5
Mixed opinion - Ok...
1) The book has a lot of filler. Chapter 1 and the notes (70 pages) are there simply to add paper and make the book look bigger. This is a quick (and I mean quick read)
2) By definition a chunk of this book will be irrelevant to you. Let's say you are a DIRECTOR (one of her four personality types), do you really need to read the section on EXPLORER-BUILDER relationships?
3) I think her basic premise is sound. I am just not sure what to do with the information. In other words, I am a DIRECTOR, ok...and...
Apparently, I am likely to be a good fit with a NEGOTIATOR or EXPLORER but maybe not. I probably won't get along with a BUILDER or DIRECTOR unless I do.
Not to mention that by the time you've figure out what somebody else is, you're likely to already have decided if you like them or not (i.e people don't wear EXPLORER signs around their neck)
So
It's certainly not a bad read if you can pick it up for under $10. I agree with the info, I just don't think it provides any information that I can really use to change my dating habits in any meaningful way.
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