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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship

By: John M. Gottman   Julie Schwartz Gottman   Joan Declaire  

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Average Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Description:
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washingto— made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions.

What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.

Giving an insider’s view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the reader step-by-step through the couples’ conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples’ interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By “listening” to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and—most important—how to avoid them.

Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading.


From inside the famed Gottman Institute, aka the “Love Lab”: ten scientifically proven, practical ways to strengthen your marriage

“We don’t feel close anymore.”

“You never talk to me.”

“We only have time for the kids.”

“All you do is work.”

“You don’t care about my dreams.”

Do you recognize yourself, or your spouse, in any of these statements? If so, Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, say you shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, their decades of scientific research have shown that most couples face these and other serious problems—but what the Gottmans have proven is that such difficulties don’t have to lead to a broken relationship, or even divorce.

In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. You’ll strengthen your relationship and make it the most fulfilling it can be.


From the Hardcover edition.

Publisher: Three Rivers Press

Release Date: 2007-06-26

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
highly recommended - As far as I know, only the Gottmans' relationship recommendations are so solidly based on research. I've admired their work for over a decade and, above all others of its ilk, it is this book, with its proven techniques, that I highly recommend to clients with marriage problems.

Unfortunately, most people with relationship problems lack the motivation to follow these excellent suggestions. They are too invested in being right. Most people would rather be right than happy. Too bad.

For those people (which of course includes me, far more often than I would like), I recommend "To Love is to be Happy With" by Barry Neil Kaufman. Happiness is a choice, as Kaufman's wonderful little book spells out so clearly.


Customer Review: 4 out of 5
Transform your relationship - The approach of this book is meaningful and candid, with a view toward fixing problems that married people are bound to experience at one time or another. Using his personal experience as well as patient examples, the author clearly states the problem and creatively supplies a solution. Other great book about this topic I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

Customer Review: 5 out of 5
fabu! - More great marriage advice from the Gottman researchers at the famous love labs. They did the research, now you get the results. This isn't just good "advice", it's what is proven to work and what is proven to not work. None of the other "relationship experts" have done the kind of research that the Gottman crew have done. Great stuff!

Customer Review: 1 out of 5
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage - Gottman bases his information on solid research and makes it very reader friendly. I think this is a good book for couples to read aloud together, using the concepts as a springboard for meaningful conversations. Fully five star.

Customer Review: 4 out of 5
10 Lessons by Gottman - I recently purchased 10 Lessons to Transform your Marriage by John Gottman because everyone has told me what amazing communication tips it has in it. And it really does. The book explains the tips very clearly and it is communication advice that applies in a multitude of situtations.

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